Valentine’s Day isn’t just for romance—it’s the perfect time to get creative with a little payback. If your ex is still on your mind, why not send them a gift they’ll never forget? From creepy critters to glittery chaos, here are the most delightfully petty gifts to give your ex this Feb. 14.
For an ex who’s full of it
To dump your feelings for an ex this Valentine’s Day, Poop Sendershas the perfect solution—delivering a steaming pile of revenge with their anonymous, feces-themed gift service.
For almost a decade, this anonymous gift service has been delivering realistic-looking animal feces to anyone who deserves a heap of something special.
Whether it’s an ex lover or fling, Poop Senders promises that they are the “nastiest, stinkiest, fresh poop packages anyone has ever seen.”
For Valentine’s Day, the site is offering a Heart-Sprinkled Mega Pack at a discounted price of $49.95, down from $99.95.
The pack comes with your choice of faux poop of cow, elephant, or gorilla and is thoughtfully adorned with tiny candy hearts to really drive home the sentiment.
To make the experience even sweeter, Poop Senders guarantees complete anonymity. Their website boldly says, “We will never tell,” and even offers a cash payment option to ensure there’s no digital trail back to you. Cash means total anonymity.
For the ex who’s a real pest
Got an ex who still bugs you? Brookfield Zoo’s Name-a-Cockroach program is back for 2025, giving you the perfect way to let off some steam—by naming a Madagascar hissing cockroach after them.
For $15, you can immortalize your ex’s name on one of nature’s most detested creatures.
These aren’t just any roaches: Madagascar hissing cockroaches are notorious for their size and their loud, snake-like hiss.
Participants receive a customizable Certificate of Naming to proudly display or share, and the chosen first name will appear on the Cockroach Naming Board outside the Hamill Family Play Zoo.
The board will be revealed on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, and featured on Brookfield Zoo’s social media channels for extra visibility. Want to secure your ex’s spot on the board? Make sure to submit your donation by 5 p.m. on Feb. 5.
Glitter, shame and postcards
Every gift needs a postcard, and Ruin Days makes sure the message being sent is impossible to forget.
Their Embarrassing Postcards pack, for $14.99, is perfect for anyone who deserves a little discomfort.
This set of five full-color postcards features fake businesses like “Dr. Foot-Long Penile Enlargement Surgeon,” “Herpes Research Center,” and “Anal Leakage Research Center.”
The postcards are sent one by one, three days apart, for maximum awkwardness.
With blank backs on the envelopes, your recipient will have no idea who’s behind the prank. Just make sure to use their address at checkout.
If subtle sabotage is more your speed, Ruin Days also offers Glitter Everywhere cards for $9.99.
Glitter, dubbed the “worst creation of mankind,” is sealed in a hidden pouch inside the card, so the recipient won’t see it coming until they open it and “accidentally” release glitter that will haunt them for weeks. Ruin Days lets you select the glitter size, with extra-fine glitter promising the most satisfying mess.
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