Commitment phobia?

Commitment phobia?

Dear Candid Candace: Looking for some "Candid " advice here.  My significant other and I (18 years together and still not married, but that is a whole other story) seem to be in a rut in our things-to-do category.  We go to the same couple restaurants, walk the same park every day and usually visit the same beach. The routine is kind of nice, but I’m looking for some interesting new things to do.

You seem to know Chicago backwards and forwards, so… any suggestions?

 ---In a Rut and Digging Out

Dear In a Rut and Digging Out: Forgive me for pointing out the obvious. I don’t think finding new things to do is the problem here. If I’m reading this right and you would like to be married, then I think you are “looking for new things to do” with the wrong person. If, after 18 years, he/she doesn’t want to commit, it is definitely time to move on--IF you want to be married, that is!  Now, as far as finding new things to do, I’ve been covering Chicago’s rich events scene for the past 48 years and, if you can’t find things to do here, you aren’t trying.  Just take a look inside our paper, online and in print, and you will find all the coolest events/parties/ fundraisers listed. You can also follow my blog,, where I take the party pics and insider info a step further. So, as you can see, there’s no limit to the places you can go! Good luck with your relationship goals, too. I hope you achieve them with a like-minded person. 

Dear Candid Candace: Kind of a morbid question, but I am getting older, and I have been thinking, where do I want to be when I am no longer here?  The old casket in the ground thing just isn’t doing it for me and I have been debating cremation, maybe going green and being ground up and reimplanted in the soil, or even donating my body to science (if they will take me!).  I know it’s a personal decision, but any thoughts on some of these new options?

 ---Don’t Bury Me Yet

 Dear Don’t Bury Me Yet: You are right to be thinking about this, you don’t want to leave a huge responsibility like this for your family to decide, so good for you. David Sloane, a USC Price School of Public Policy professor, has been thinking about this very topic and has written a book on it titled “Is the Cemetery Dead?”. In it, he delves into the nitty gritty of the unavoidable end. One trend, partly driven by cost, is that cremation is preferred over burial. There is also a shift over even using a cemetery with many people wishing to have their ashes scattered or for them to be kept in the family home, thus cutting out the cemetery entirely. “Going green” as you mentioned is also a trend for the ecologically conscious but, add into the fact that cemeteries are running out of room anyway so this would be a boon for this problem. As for my husband and me, we would like our ashes to be scattered on a bar that we love in the South of France, so the party can continue!

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