‘Ask Candid Candace’ column to launch in May

So you want to be an advice columnist? Me: "Yes, yes I do ... I've been bossy my whole life, so for me, this will be the perfect fit!"

"Ask Candid Candace" is coming soon to Chicago Star. I've truly been dispensing advice, whether people wanted it or not, since forever, so I'm happy to have this wonderful new opportunity and I hope you will like it and participate.  

We all know I'm not a doctor, therapist, lawyer or anybody else with a degree that would make me an expert in this field. But, the one thing I do have is a lifetime of experiences, along with a lot of empathy and sympathy for others. And I want to help. This column will be fun with a little sarcasm on the side.

Throughout my life, I've been blessed to have had people who have enriched me, broadened my horizons and filled my head with much-needed direction. Two people stand out: My mom Elsa Mae Stott, and Mary Lee Johnson, a woman who was like a second mother to me. She was my she-ro. My dad always said I "wouldn't have any sense at all if it weren't for Mary." But then, this was after he and my mom divorced, so there could have been some bad feelings there, just to be clear.

However, in many ways, he was so right. Mary taught me things, as a Black woman, that my mother certainly never could. She was born in 1903 in Cotton Plant, Miss. It wasn't an easy time or place to grow up so she made her way north around 1943 and, if she hadn't, my life would've been very different.

She and her husband Jim were well known fixtures in my little town of Dupo, Ill. They lived nearby in East Carondelet, a town of about 600. Those were tough times back then, but Mary and Jim lived their lives with dignity, despite the injustices, and by example, taught me a lot about the right way to live. They were such hard workers—they had to be to survive. I watched Jim as he toiled on the railroad by day and picked up trash at night. Besides helping raise me, Mary worked as a cook at the YMCA. They had a garden that helped feed a lot of their friends and neighbors. They never let the inequities and unfairness they faced on a daily basis daunt their giving spirits, always eager and happy to share whatever they had.

Another person who had faith in my abilities (and who taught me a lot) was the legendary talk show host Steve Harvey. A few years ago, he built three features around me for his show ,which was then set in Chicago. In them, I shared lifestyle, fashion and etiquette tips and advice, so maybe the writing was on the wall for "Ask Candid Candace," even back then.

As you can see, I have had some unique life experiences that have enriched me in ways that I hope I might use to help you too. I hope you will trust me with your questions. I will answer anything on your minds and, for a sampling, I would also like to share some of the best bits of advice that I've tried to live by.

1) Do the things that scare you the most. This will help you grow in ways you could have never imagined. 

2) Stay in touch with childhood friends. They will keep you grounded, remind you of what's important in life and where you came from. 

3) Listen more. This is something I'm still learning but I know how important it is. 

4) Welcome new opportunities even if it's not something you might've thought of or planned. 

5) Listen to advice but always follow your gut instincts in the end. 

6) Have a hobby/passion that you love—it will serve you well when you're older. 

7) Create memories and broaden your horizons, travel as much as you can, both near and far. 

8) Don't follow trends. Make your own. 

9) Volunteer, join committees. 

10) Read. Read. Read. 

"Ask Candid Candace" is ready, waiting and hoping to hear from you. Please send questions to 

[email protected] and watch for the column, coming soon!