Ask Candid Candace: Jaywalking and bedroom etiquette

Dear Candid Candace: A sensitive question here. Our son is coming back from spring break, and he is bringing his girlfriend to stay with us. We have met her before and she is a wonderful young lady, and they seem to get along great. BUT, and maybe you saw this coming, we don’t feel comfortable having them sleep together in the same room, not in our house, anyway.  He is only 19, she is 18 and we have a younger son aged 15 and a daughter who is 14. This situation might not be the best example for our younger kids. How do I approach this touchy topic without setting off unwanted fireworks? Or am I being an overly protective mom? Signed, Hoping to Divide and Separate

Dear Hoping to Divide and Separate: Well, I think it’s pretty safe to say that they have slept together before. I guess the only problem I would have with this request is, as you mentioned, the younger kids in the home. But let’s not forget, it IS your home so your house, your rules. Some parents would be fine with this but, if you’re not, then there’s your answer. Follow your instincts and discuss this with your son. If he’s understanding and reasonable, he will heed your concerns. One night apart shouldn’t make or break a relationship anyway.

Dear Candid Candace: Maybe I should be addressing this subject with the Chicago Police Department, but you are my favorite advice columnist, so here goes. “Jaywalking” is defined as the act of pedestrians walking into streets without using designated crossing areas. What about the plethora of pedestrians that walk on both sidewalks and streets in the most random, dangerous fashion because they have their gazes affixed on their phones? Luckily, I am a taller person and can draw from my experience on the middle school basketball team, and set a pick and roll, meaning to just hold my ground and let smaller folks bounce off me. Chicago, like any city, is not altogether safe, so everyone needs to be paying attention to their surroundings. This behavior has become an urban epidemic. Your thoughts on how to deal with this situation? Signed, Cross Walker

Dear Cross Walker: According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, pedestrian deaths in the U.S. have reached their highest level in 40 years! And a large part of this can be attributed to unsuspecting and unaware jaywalkers. Combine people walking into streets outside the designated crossing areas with drivers who also aren’t paying attention at the wheel, and you have an accident waiting to happen. I think EVERYONE needs to rethink where they’re placing their attention when they’re on the road, whether it be a nitwit jaywalker or a distracted motorist. Laws on jaywalking vary from state to state and even from town to town. In Illinois, jaywalking isn’t explicitly listed as being illegal. I guess we have too many other crimes to focus on, but I agree, it’s dangerous, irresponsible, and just plain stupid. There’s no destination that’s so important to reach that you need to risk your life (and the lives of others) for it.

(Ask Candid Candace, send questions to CandidCandace@ChicagoStarMedia.com)