How to date smart during Covid, an expert shares her tips

Dating is never easy, especially now during Covid. Here, dating expert and founder of the Smart Dating Academy, Bela Gandhi, shares her top tips for dating and finding love. She has appeared on national talk shows dispensing her wisdom and she shares it with us now. 

Believe it or not, there are 118MM single Americans (48% of the adult population) and falling in love is something that is very much ‘top of mind’ at this time of year. This is what we call ‘peak dating season – the time when singles are thinking about love for the holidays and have made their resolutions to find love and come out of the woodwork!  And “peak” peaks on January 2^nd – that day is projected to be the busiest online dating day of 2022!  So how do you become an amazing dater, during this great time when the ‘fish have come to sea’, and how do you navigate this world with COVID still looming out there?  It’s about having the right mindset, a dating plan, having a great profile/photos, and sticking with your plan. 

1) Become a Psychotic Optimist

When talking about love, a friend of mine called me a “Psychotic Optimist” – because I fervently believe that love can and will happen for anyone that wants it (that is ready to do something about it)!  First, remember that almost half of the adult population is single – so even if you feel like you’re the last single person left in Chicago, you’re not. Trust me J  Because you are reading this post, you have been auto-inducted into Smart Dating Academy’s club of Psychotic Optimists – which means you date as if finding love is a “WHEN” not an “IF.”  You’re in it to ‘win it’ – and know that love exists for you – all you have to do is date until you find ‘the lid to your pot.’ You are patiently in the game – whether it takes ten dates or 100 dates. Being a Psychotic Optimist makes dating MUCH more fun, and therefore, much more successful. 

2) Have a 3-Pronged Dating Plan 

When you want to achieve anything big in life (career change, fitness, etc.), you put together a plan with specific steps and goals. Often times we think dating and love should ‘just happen if it’s meant to be’ – and that being planful is ‘unromantic.’  Au contraire.  To be successful at finding love, make a plan that is realistic, fun, and that you can stick to.  Your plan should include 3 major categories:

• Online Dating – One in three marriages in the US take place because of online connections – so even if you’ve tried it and haven’t had good results, there IS a better way to do it! (see below)
• Real Life – Meeting people at parties, at work, at fundraisers, even at Whole Foods is almost everyone’s preference – but has gotten harder through the pandemic!  Look up, get off your phone, and smile at people.  Make conversation, be friendly – and people will start to gravitate towards you.
• Set Ups – Identify the people in your life that are ‘super connectors’ – people who love to connect people, are extroverted, and preferably not trying to date the same people you are!  Have lunch with your super connectors – and enlist their help. 

3) Spruce up your Online Dating Profile

Think about your online profile and photos as your personal marketing campaign in cyberspace. It shouldn’t take you five minutes to set up – a great profile should take several hours to put together. 

A few tips:

• Pick 1-2 sites or apps, maximum. Often times, we think that ‘more is more’ – but being on too many sites/apps can give us Dating ADHD J 
• Choose large sites with big denominators like Match.com, Bumble, etc.  Dating often feels like needle in a haystack – so make sure you’ve got a big haystack to have lots of choices.
• Choose a specific number of people to message per day.  Our clients message 3-5 per day at minimum.  Respond first to interesting people that email you proactively, and after you’ve exhausted those – do your own proactive searches.

PHOTOS

Great photos will determine 90% of your success – and most of us don’t have a lot of great photos of just ourselves. Getting great photos taken is one of the best investments you can make in the process.  On your profile, a survey Smart Dating Academy and Match.com performed with over 1,500 singles said that approximately 5-6 total photos (mix of head and body shots) are the magic number of photos.  (Insert the photos here)!

• HEADSHOT - Your opening photo is the most important picture. Direct eye contact with the camera, with a great smile. You should look warm and welcoming, so that the viewer will want to click on your profile, instead of one of the multitudes of others on the page!  Well lit and high resolution works best.
• BODYSHOTS   People want to see what you look like from head to toe!    Have at least three full body shots in your online portfolio. 
• No other people, pets, sunglasses, or kids in your shots, just YOUR image alone.
• And, dress to impress in your photos.  Give the viewers something nice to look at! 

4) DATING DURING COVID

People continue to date during the pandemic – and it’s been an ‘on-fire’ dating world!  To stay safe, we recommend going from messaging to either a phone call or video date before meeting ‘IRL’ (in real life)!   Video is awesome because it makes the person come to life; it helps build a connection, and to avoid disappointing dates.  Have a 30 minute ‘happy hour’ video date before you decide to invest a few hours meeting someone at a bar!  Video is a silver lining that entered the dating world during COVID, and

Dating can be fun, easy, and successful if you follow the tips above. Become psychotically optimistic about finding love, make a fun dating plan that you can stick to, say yes to everything, and get online the right way – and you are sure to start seeing a better dating life!