Column: Elevator etiquette pandemic style

With the virus still among us, proper elevator etiquette has taken on new rules.

Many residents already abide by these, while others are still in the “learning process” and some completely disregard said etiquette. (For those of you in the last group, you may now skip reading and go directly to the last line of this column).

First and foremost is to wear a mask. This is critical! Getting in the elevator with a stranger while not wearing a mask is the modern-day equivalent of smoking in a restaurant. A definite no-no.

Also, key to remember, is when the elevator door opens, even if you are in a hurry, stand back and let the riders disembark thus preventing any ugly collisions.

Now comes the challenging part. After entering the elevator, remember to stand as far as possible from other riders. This should be done with such force that you may actually leave your body imprint on the mirror or wall you were leaning against.

Next comes the pushing of the buttons for your designated floor. Once a mere afterthought, it has now become a crucial part of the riding experience. Strict unwritten rules are in place here. If you forget and accidently push the button with one of your exposed fingers, be aware that alarms may go off at Chicago Police Department headquarters.

Best way to push the button? Knuckles work. Back of the hand is good. Using a towel or wipe or another foreign object gets you off the hook as well. But for extra style points use a pointy object such as a pencil, pen or maybe the tip of your car key. Particularly effective if you want to impress a first date.

Finally, whatever you do, do not sneeze or cough in the elevator. This breaks every code. Hold it in, fight it off, whatever it takes-even if it means turning as red as a can of tomatoes.

Bottom line? We all thought we had this elevator etiquette thing down pretty well, but the recent virus attack has made us rethink.

Oh, and feel free to print this column out and hand it to someone who might need some “friendly reminding.”

Jon Cohn is a New Eastside Resident.