As this issue comes out in early November, we will be right smack in the middle of election mania—sure to be a volatile, if not hostile, period of time (I hope I am wrong).

Jon Cohn headshot

Jon Cohn

While understanding the dutiful importance of being involved, aware, and active in our country’s current events, I chose this month to go the other way. Borrowing the famed Monty Python line, “And now for something completely different,” I present to you, in no particular order, and of no particular importance, some random thoughts and questions to maybe get your mind off the potential mayhem of election season.

Call it “productive distraction.”

When Chicago Police on Michigan Avenue gather in large groups on a normal peaceful day, are they actually discussing policing strategy? And those officers on horses that look so cool, so stoic, so confident. It’s very impressive. But when nature calls and their horse ingloriously releases right on the street. Then? Not quite so cool.

Speaking of “cool” how cold are folks going to be waiting to get into office buildings with the current city-mandated two-person maximum capacity on elevators? The line to get in may stretch outside for city blocks. New Chicago motto: Arrive to work at 8 a.m., in your office by 11 a.m.

While we’re on big buildings, has anybody else heard the “loud hush” hovering over the towering Vista Building? The silence has been deafening. We know it was supposed to open in July, and certainly understand the pandemic-related delay, but has news about the sleek skyscraper been a little too quiet?

Quiet on this too, but is it ok to have a “man crush” on new Bulls head coach Billy Donovan? Just asking for a friend.

Now that I have completed my “first-time-for-a-64-year-old-man” challenge by getting a pedicure, I am looking for suggestions for a next “first time.” Email with ideas and, before you write, no I am not jumping out of a plane.

Finally, how about a special thank you to our hardworking last minute census takers. I am sure they encountered a variety of creative resistance techniques (trying to be nice here) as they knocked, knocked, knocked their way across all city neighborhoods. But, sincere thanks gang, for this much needed service.

Now…back to the real news.

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