Columnist Jon Cohn gets a pedicure

“They said ‘try something new,’ so I did.”

For years I’ve observed nail and manicure salons throughout the Chicago area, wondering, as I pass each one, what exactly is the draw? Can there really be that much demand for the health and beautification of fingernails and toenails?

During these virus-induced slow times, we are constantly reminded “it’s a good time to try something new,” so I threw caution to the wind and took my now-questionable manliness into the Cuticle in the Village Market.

Yes, at the ripe old age of 64, I went to get my first-ever pedicure (a manicure seemed too tame so I figured why not go crazy?).

This quantum leap was not without trepidation. My two main fears: I am ticklish in the feet and not sure how I would respond to all the touching and rubbing, and my toenails can look at times like the aftermath of a war zone. What would they think?

Both concerns were quickly deflated by the very nice, comforting and competent presence of store manager Gina, who assured me everything would be fine.

Gina led me to the back of the salon (strategic location: good move) where I suddenly started to feel like a farm animal being led to slaughter. The first step of the pedicure process was soaking my feet in hot water. Off to a great start. Very soothing. I could have done that for half an hour and been a happy man.

The mask I wore stifled some of my ticklish laughing.

But no such luck, as my pedicurist Tina had other thoughts. What followed was a veritable onslaught of foot therapy and re-imaging. First, there was the clipping of the nails (goodbye, war zone). Then some filing, a little scraping, cuticle clipping, more filing, a foot rub (thank goodness the mask I wore stifled some of my ticklish laughing), ointment treatment, a bit more scraping, another ointment treatment and, finally, a rather aggressive foot massage.

Pedicurist Tina was not only outstanding but also an interesting contrast. She was quiet, soft and shy on the outside, while her hands told a completely different story. They were strong, aggressive and demanding. I found this curious, if not somewhat humorous.

When the thirty-minute session concluded, my thoughts on my first-time pedicure? Not bad, not bad at all. I walked out proudly, heading to the nearest shoe store in search of an open-toed pair of sandals so I could show off my new-look feet with those lovely, well-rounded toenails.

Cuticle, 333 Benton Place, can be contacted at (312) 888-3627 or visit online by clicking here.

Jon Cohn is a New Eastside resident.