Column: The pandemic, sales and the single girl

I once had a man tell me it was his Christmas wish for me to stop calling him. No, it was not my ex-boyfriend, it was my prospective client. Which is worse? My love life or my career?

Being single and in sales, I have come to realize they’re the exact same thing. Add a pandemic to the mix, and I have nothing that separates my day to night. It’s all one big blur of hunting down prospects, ghostings, rejections and being politely let down.

Last week, a man I’ve been seeing didn't suggest a fourth date. This slight rejection has kicked my competitive sales nature into high gear. It’s begun to eat away at me, so just this morning I sent him this text:

Bill, Hope this note finds you well. I know you’re probably swamped but I wanted to circle back. Per our last conversation, do you have any updates that I can share with upper management aka my mom? If you can get back to me by close of business, I’d so appreciate it. Excited about our potential partnership in Q2. Regards, Bridget

Crickets from Bill. Maybe it’s the sales lingo I’ve started using in my everyday life that scared him away. I’ve found myself texting friends that I can “talk live” and that I am “more than flexible” and can “easily pivot as needed.” As I was ending my Zoom call with my therapist yesterday, I told her to “sit tight and stay tuned.” But wait—Bill just wrote back!

Bridget, Unfortunately, I am not able to move forward. I’ve truly enjoyed our discussions, but I don’t see a fit with my needs or budget. However, I have a friend that may be of interest. OK for me to put you in touch? Many thanks, Bill

Oh, I knew I liked that Bill. Always networking. Bill’s a recruiter. Can you tell?

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Bridget McGuire is a Chicago based storyteller and stand-up comedian. She is currently writing a book based on crazy stories that unfortunately, happen to be her real life. At the ripe age of 35, Bridget became an intern at The Laugh Factory which made her parents very proud. Bridget has performed her stories and stand-up throughout Chicago and is a co-producer of “ALL THAT GOOD STUFF,” a traveling comedy show that started on the southside of Chicago. Follow her on Instagram at @bmcguire82.