If Trump's cabinet members were part of the NFL draft

In honor of the recently completed NFL draft, I thought I would take a look at some our more prominent politicians and cabinet holders and see what the NFL scouts would say about their “prospects.”

Karoline Leavitt, Press Secretary.  Position: Wide receiver. Leavitt has shown amazing ability to take any ball thrown her way and catch it!  Even the badly thrown ones, or ones that make no sense whatsoever, she will find a way to catch them and make them go.  Nothing slips through her hands.  She will make any politician better—even the really bad ones. Draft Analysis:  First round pick based on fact she makes everyone around her better

Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense.  Position: Linebacker. Hegseth plays middle linebacker and thus directs everybody else on the defense. Only problem is he is undersized, has little experience and interestingly rarely makes a tackle himself.  Talks a big game in the defensive huddle, but questionable respect from his teammates, especially the veterans.  On the rare times he is in position to make a tackle he usually gets run over.  Draft analysis:  Over hyped.  Production doesn’t match the talk.  Draft at your own risk.

JD Vance, Vice President.  Position: Running Back. Shifty, he can change directions with the best of them.  Goes very well to his right, not so much the other way.  Won’t dazzle you with speed, doesn’t have much power, but his instincts and intelligence are off the charts. Positives?  He will annoy the heck out of opponents.  Negatives?  He might also annoy the heck out of his own teammates.  Draft analysis?  Risky.  Low basement, but high ceiling!

Kash Patel, FBI Director. Position: Kicker. Kash wanted to play other positions, but the big boys wouldn’t let him. The only one he came close to was “kicker”, and he was woefully unskilled even at that.  Can be a big contributor though to the post game parties following big wins.  Draft analysis?  No.  That’s it, just no.

Marco Rubio, Secretary Of State. Position: Quarterback. Improving as leader in both toughness and accuracy.  Undersized to play quarterback, so that could be a problem, but his smarts, intuition and leadership ability could be a big plus.  Biggest question?  Can he change the play if the coach calls the wrong play?  Can he do the right thing, even if others are trying to sway him in a different direction?  Is he tough enough to usurp authority when needed?  If so?  He could be a good (if not great) quarterback.  Draft analysis:  Might not yet be a first round pick but take him early based on high upside.

Susie Wiles, White House Chief of Staff.  Position: Offensive line. Solid, if not flashy protector.  Age is a factor, but Wiles can block for anybody.  She puts up a “good front” and protects even the worst of quarterbacks.  Not afraid to stay behind the scenes, she won’t cause any locker room issues.  A solid, experienced pick‚—very loyal to whatever team chooses,  but again advancing age a potential detriment to production. Draft analysis:  Good choice for veteran team in need of a steady influence.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Secretary of Health and Human Services.   Position:  Safety. Has completely changed the safety position.  No longer stays back and protects against the pass, Kennedy now roams all over the field in a haphazard but occasionally effective way.  Teammates marvel at his versatility and creativity, but for the most part have absolutely no idea where he is going.  Fun for fans to watch if you like chaos and the unexpected.  Draft analysis:  All over the board.  Most scouts say stay away, but there are a few who think he could be a star.

Linda McMahon, Secretary of Education.    Position:  Outside Linebacker. A unique player.  Doesn’t even like the position she is assigned.  In fact, if it were up to her she would get rid of the “outside linebacker” position entirely.  The team will be just fine without her according to…her!  But, she can hold down the fort effectively while in transition, and she has earned the respect of her teammates.  Draft Analysis:  Could be a solid pick, but why bother if her position is soon to be eliminated?

Markwayne Mullin, Secretary Of Homeland Security.  Position:  Safety. A much safer and more stable safety pick than the aforementioned Kennedy.  Mullin will stay in his lane and protect, and he loves to hit!  He really loves to hit.  Sometimes he loves to hit a little too much,  and referees have had to throw him out of a few games.  But toughness and his willingness to engage cannot be questioned.  Draft analysis:  Some concerns about having two first names in his actual first name, but scouts are hoping he can fill the safety position with a steady, solid hand.

Donald Trump, President.  Position: Whatever he wants to play. Mixed bag here.  Some scouts say they wouldn’t touch him with the proverbial 10 foot pole, while others think he is the next big thing.  He can play on the big stage no question about that, but concerns on age and weight are to be taken into consideration.  Negatives?  Will he listen to the coach or just do as he pleases?  Positives? Even after a loss he will tell his team that they actually won.  Draft analysis: Won’t even go there.