Ten things I’d rather be doing than ice fishing

I hear that ice fishing is becoming a “thing.” OK. 

I have always wondered about the allure of regular fishing (although peace, quiet, and nature while drinking a cold one is not a bad look). But when it comes to ice fishing, I stand somewhere delicately between “Why would you possibly want to do this?” and “Are you absolutely out of your mind?”

In that vein, and with the apparent popularity of ice fishing on the upswing (really?), I not so kindly give you my top ten list of things I would rather be doing than ice fishing. 

In no particular order:

1. Having a tooth pulled slowly–hold the Novocain.  
2. Clean the gutters right after a big rain, when the temperatures suddenly turn cold—freezing all the leaves.
3.  Develop a bad rash in a sensitive area of the body right in the middle of a day-long hike on a really hot day.
4. Do a health check, followed by corresponding “clean up” duty, at a senior assisted living facility.
5. Get a massage from an ex-military vet named Bruno who still suffers from occasional PTSD. 
6. Watch highlights of the Chicago White Sox season that just was (or, more accurately, wasn’t).
7. Have my wallet stolen and spend the rest of the day trying to reorder everything from my driver’s license to my beloved AARP card. 
8. Wait in the airport and have a five-hour flight delay…and then find out the flight was cancelled.
9. Watching video “highlights” of my kid’s old third-grade musical choir performances.

Watch ice fishing on TV!