The adult child’s guide to selling a parent’s home and other hard truths

There are few things more traumatic than buying or selling a house especially in today’s market - where the good homes draw multiple competitive cash bids over the asking price – and the tired, old residences just sit and wait for the phone to ring - which it rarely does. Sales of previously occupied homes fell in March to their slowest pace in 9 months at a time of year which is traditionally the busiest season for the real estate industry. 2026 annual sales could be up to a million less homes than the historical norm. This is not good news for anyone.

But the one thing that is definitely more traumatic is helping your aging, often infirm, and stubborn as heck parents to list and sell their house. Which, of course, they call their home. Putting aside all the psychological issues, aggressive guilting, and the constant reminders that you’re an ungrateful child who’s trying to toss them out of their lifelong residence, the fact is that the entire process basically stinks for buyers and sellers.

The best of these lousy situations is the prospect of moving your folks into a nice condo or rental apartment in a retirement committee. Nonetheless, the downsizing is very painful and there are almost as many steps backwards as forward in the discussions and negotiations leading up to the inevitable decision. The worst of these conversations is when the trip isn’t to alternative independent, albeit smaller, housing but instead to an assisted living facility with multiple levels of care. This is like showing your parents a painful vision of how sad and ugly their last days are likely to be. It’s no wonder that the resistance is fierce and that the eventual acknowledgement of the oncoming new realities never feels like much of a validation or victory for anyone concerned.

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Add to this perilous equation, all of the angst, anger, anxiety and uncertainty inherent in the best and mostly smoothly managed sale process and one which employs – for better or worse – an experienced real estate agent, and it’s still an uncomfortable and challenging process. It’s especially hard for seniors to get their homes into market-ready selling condition; it’s difficult and uncomfortable for them to have to be leaving the house on short-notice for showings; and – even at these late dates – many seniors may still need financial and equity assistance in order to fund their new acquisition. If they’re stuck in the middle, having not sold the old place, but needing those proceeds and possibly some additional financial help to pay for the prospective new place, the stress on all of the parties is terrible and unrelenting.

But, as any good entrepreneur knows, there’s nothing like someone else’s pain and problems to create a new opportunity for an innovative solution. The best entrepreneurs see what everyone else has seen but think what no one else has thought. In this case, the primary goal was to get rid of as much as possible of the fear, uncertainty, and friction in the sales process and, at the same time, add more flexibility and leverage for the seller.

That’s why the QuickBuy program was created by some young Chicago entrepreneurs. It originally began as an adjunct to an ongoing senior living relocation program where, in case after case, the folks anxious to move into their new living space had the delays and complications of selling their old place hanging over their heads. While the QuickBuy program started with a focus on assisting nursing homes and self-help facilities which were looking to recruit seniors, it expanded over the years into a service for all home sellers and the business has grown exponentially since then.

It’s basically a B2B service now offered as a convenient tool by various partners across the country including large brokerages, mortgage companies, and real estate portals to their own clients who are trying to sell their homes. It’s designed to eliminate a great deal of the angst and aggravation inherent in the sales process and, at the same time, give the sellers some support and confidence in their negotiations to acquire their new living quarters.

And, just to be clear, having the QuickBuy solution in place actually gives some comfort and assurance to the parties on the other side of any deal because it essentially eliminates the second worst contingency in any offer to buy a new home – the requirement that the prospective buyer sell their old home. The worst contingency, of course, is that the buyers need to secure mortgage financing to make the purchase which is extra hard to come by if they’re still on the hook for their old home.

The QuickBuy process is straightforward and offers two options, Immediate Offer and Advantage. QuickBuy Immediate Offer is designed for unlisted properties. It provides a single settlement offer that allows the seller to close on the home based on their preferred timeline. QuickBuy Advantage is available for all homes, whether listed or unlisted. It is a dual‑settlement structure. At the first closing, the seller receives a majority of their equity upfront. Then, once the home sells to a market buyer, the seller receives a second payment equal to the net sales price from the market buyer minus the amount already paid at the first closing. Both programs are designed to deliver convenience, ease, and certainty. For sellers whose primary goal is certainty, QuickBuy also offers the Lock program. For a small fee, QuickBuy Lock keeps the QuickBuy offer open for up to 150 days, giving sellers the peace of mind of having a qualified cash backup offer if their home does not sell traditionally.

Bottom line: if you’re trying to pry your aging parents out of their current house for their own good and move them to a new place, being able to relieve them of all of the grief, work, uncertainty, and anxiety inherent in selling their long time residence couldn’t be easier with an assist from the QuickBuy guys. 

RETIREMENT – VOLUNTARY OR NOT – IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER

One of the great quotes from Gretchen Rubin about life and work is that “the days are long, but the years are short.” Every day may seem like a dreary Sisyphean struggle, but then one day you wake up and you’re carrying a cardboard box of your belongings out of the building and on your way to whatever’s next. Whether you want to admit it or not, for millions of us, retirement – whether voluntary or otherwise – is much closer than we imagine and now’s the time to start thinking about it.

I’m not talking about anything relating to financial matters, buying cheap life insurance, or whether it’s wise to have a will. You can see ads for those concerns everywhere you look. I’m talking about making some plans and decisions about how you’re going to spend your post-employment days which – in somewhat of a mixed blessing way – are likely to be much longer than you might think.

For better or worse, we’re living much longer these days although the quality of life in those bonus “golden” years is an entirely different question.  This longevity is largely because we’re paying much more attention to our diets, we’re exercising more regularly, the meds and medical treatments available to keep us alive are far more powerful and effective, and only the morons are still smoking whatever, doing recreational drugs, and/or drinking too much.

Having lived through this transitional process several times and talked with dozens of others who are similarly situated, I have a few ideas and suggestions, warnings and words of encouragement, and other observations which I hope will be of value to you as you start to give some serious thought to an increasingly uncertain and challenging future.

First of all, try to avoid squandering your savings, severance and social security payments (such as they may soon be) on a startup or in buying a quaint neighborhood business that you’ve always liked and frequented. You may think you’re ready to roll up your sleeves, do whatever it takes, and jump back into the game, but the game has changed radically in many ways and you’re most likely not up to the task. (Read here) And if my list of perils isn’t persuasive enough, try filling out a loan application or a new credit card app and putting the words “unemployed” or “retired” on the form. The word “retired” on a loan app is like a bright red stop sign for lenders – even at your own bank – and the pitiful excuses they give you are even more depressing.

Second, don’t try to teach anyone younger than 35 anything. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a bunch of high school kids who really don’t care, college students who simply can’t be bothered, or MBAs in grad school who think they already know everything.  The truth is that you don’t have the patience to deal with their lack of patience, the thick skin to deal with their arrogance, or the disposition to put up with their indifference and laziness.  Worse yet, if you try to instill a little rigor or discipline, it’s like walking on eggshells among a bunch of snowflakes. It turns out too often that you’re the nasty ogre who just doesn’t get it. Teaching exec education courses is a slightly safer path, but even there no one is really interested in paying a ton of money to hear you rehash your old war stories.

Third, don’t expect or try to replace your prior earnings. That’s a pipe dream. It’s an employers’ market and there are dozens of over-qualified and out-of-work candidates chasing the same slots and opportunities. Sadly, it’s often a race to the bottom in terms of salary or other comp and it rarely includes health insurance or other fringe benefits. It takes an especially strong stomach to settle for something which you regard as beneath your abilities and experience and it’s even more painful when you end up reporting to supervisors and managers who may be younger than your own grown kids.

Fourth, most of your technical skills are going to be regarded as anchors to the past rather than valuable tools. (See  How to Know If the Experts Advising You Are Still Qualified). Look for jobs that take advantage of your negotiating experience, social skills, and storytelling ability. These may be the most satisfying positions anyway because you won’t be spending your days in a race trying to catch up with constant technological changes and dealing with patronizing nerds who are half your age.

Fifth, get comfortable with answering the omnipresent question: what are you doing now?  Men and women who have worked hard and successfully for decades have a great deal of difficulty answering this inquiry without being embarrassed in one way or another. If you’ve retired after 40 or 50 years, be proud of that and understand that it’s perfectly fine to say either that you’re doing “nothing” or that you’re “looking” for what’s next. You’ve earned a break and some time off and there’s nothing to be ashamed of or any obligation on your part to be rushing around trying to get back in the saddle.

And finally, remember that it’s a great time to get back in touch with your kids, grandkids, and old friends you haven’t seen lately. You never know how much time you have left and no one’s kids ever said, “we wish he’d spent more time at the office.”  

 Howard A. Tullman

General Managing Partner

G2T3V, LLC - Investors in Disruptive Innovators