Kurtz: Relationship Matters — Expressing high value to another

Editor’s note: Ashe County resident and licensed marriage and family therapist Michael Kurtz will be writing a monthly column about valuing and working on relationships that will be printed the second week of each month.

It is liberating to remember, and to affirm, that our value as people is in our being, not in our doing. Our authentic identity is in God, not in our level of productivity. We are created human beings, not human doings. In the Hebrew Scriptures, the creation account presents God making humankind in God’s image. After creating humans God proclaims, “This is very good!” The idea is that every human being has value and worth.

One powerful way in which we may nurture and bless another person is through, for example, the naming of positive qualities and traits that we observe in them. Using an analogy, or word picture, can be an affirming and lasting gift given.

I know of a person who expressed high value to his close friend by presenting him with an ordinary rock to keep as a continual reminder-symbol. When giving the rock to his comrade he shared these words, “Rick, I’m giving this rock to you because you are a rock-solid friend! I hope that whenever you look at this rock you will remember our friendship, and how you have been there for, and with, me many times, through the good, the bad and the ugly. Thank you!”

Life can be hard. Some seasons the strong winds of life seemingly damage and even tear our navigational sails. Then, it is, we get blown around on the waters of life.

We may greatly help one another in our relationship journey by providing some words of encouragement. We have the wonderful opportunity to help put some wind into another person’s sails. We may do this by expressing to them their high value and their worth.

Michael Kurtz, D Min, LMFT (NC #609), is an Ashe County citizen and a marriage and family licensed therapist practicing locally. He may be contacted at [email protected].