Suzanne Reisler Litwin: The ladybug effect

I don’t know if you believe in spirits, but I seriously do. My grandmother, Sadye Cohen, was quite a grand dame. We didn’t call her Grandma, Safta, Nonna, Lola, Meemaw or Bubbie; she was Sadye, the same name her friends used. She was 4-feet-11-inches tall and was referred to as ‘two feet of thunder’. Although her name is correctly spelled as Sadie, she wanted to be original in the spelling and replaced the ‘i’ with a ‘y’. She had a unique quality in everything she did.

Sadye was famous for her quotes: “Sometimes not saying anything is the best answer, as silence can never be misconstrued.” — “Love is just a word until someone gives it to you.” — “There are times when keeping my mouth shut is my greatest accomplishment.” — “You’re only young once, but you can stay immature forever.”

My grandmother passed away at 72 years old. Back then I thought she was very old. Now, I consider her as dying too young. Funny how age and time adjusts itself as you get older. As our spirit story goes, my sister Janie’s wedding was soon after Sadye’s passing. Janie was devastated to not have Sadye at her wedding celebration. They loved each other so dearly. But that’s how life is, you plan and hope for the best, then life just happens in and around your plans.

On Janie’s wedding day, we were looking for a sign, a glimmer of hope, and a spiritual connection to Sadye. Then, just as my sister was about to walk down the aisle, a ladybug appeared on the front of her veil. That was it! There she was!

Janie felt as though Sadye wanted to be a part of the wedding and appeared as a ladybug. They both walked down the aisle together and she remained during the entire wedding ceremony.

We all felt her presences that day. And so began the Ladybug Effect. From that day forward, my family has felt a ladybug represents the visiting spirit of my Grandmother Sadye. Years later, at my wedding, I was also visited by a ladybug on my bouquet. At my father’s funeral, at my graduation, and even at my son’s bar mitzvah, we all witnessed seeing ladybugs.

You might be thinking, ‘Well, ladybugs are plentiful so why wouldn’t they exist all the time?” They do, but it’s more specific, as the occurrences seem to happen just when family events take place and appear in the oddest of locations. Whether the spirit is actual or not, doesn’t really matter. What matters is, we feel her presence and that’s so very reassuring and comforting for us.

My mother Noonie is so in tune with the ladybug effect, she gave all the gals in our family little ladybug charms, which we wear on a necklace or bracelet. Although my children never met my grandmother Sadye, they know about the ladybug theory and consider Noonie the “Queen Ladybug of the Family.”

Flash forward to October 2024. On a Thursday, two nights before our son’s wedding, I mentioned the ladybug effect to my future daughter-in-law. She accepted the theory with some skepticism. However, on Friday afternoon, while sitting at my desk, a ladybug flew onto the office window screen.

THERE SHE IS!

Note to believers: you can’t look for her, she just appears. I took a photo and sent it to our family text message chat. Within two hours, my son sent me a photo of a ladybug on his apartment window. Then my sister sent me a photo of a ladybug in her taxi. By the time night fell, there must have been 10 ladybugs resting on my office window. I felt comforted that Sadye’s spirit was definitely surrounding my family, just one day before our family’s wedding.

On the wedding day, while taking outdoor photos, both our bride and groom had ladybugs on their clothing. Even their dog had a ladybug on his collar. Everyone in my immediate family saw or had an interaction with a ladybug. We all felt covered in Sadye’s spirited love and convinced she was present!

Maybe it had something to do with the extraordinary warm mid-October weather? Maybe it was an unusual autumn seasonal event which took place? Or maybe it was bashert, meaning your soul mate or the person you were destined to be with. In Yiddish (or beshert; באַשערט) means "destiny” something that's destined.

The wedding weekend was highlighted with extraordinary warm autumn weather, which brought a huge amount of ladybugs into our environment. There is probably a very satisfying scientific reason why this event took place. However, I rather enrich myself with the mysticism of godly spirits and state that we were experiencing a bashert moment. With the added confidence that our heavenly elders were with us and very pleased with this beautiful union.

Even during Sunday, we witnessed a large number of ladybugs on windows, in the house, and touching our clothing or bodies. My car interior and exterior was blessed with ladybugs.

Since that time, the weather has cooled, and the wind has picked up. I have not seen a ladybug in a few days. They were with us and in big numbers. Everyone who wanted to see a ladybug was granted that wish. Nobody in my family or my friends left without experiencing the ladybug effect. While walking my dog and still floating from our glorious family event, I thanked our heavenly elders. I thanked them for the incredible warm weather, our health and the ladybug rain!

Again, I’m certain there’s a scientifically sound reason why this happened on this weekend. But those logical results will not fill my heart and soul with the presence of our family spirits. Sometimes, don’t you think, it’s simply better just to live in the dream?

Suzanne Reisler Litwin is a creative writing instructor at Concordia University, Le Cummings Centre, and The Writer's Workshops; a columnist at The Suburban newspaper; and author of The Black Velvet Jacket.