Ask Candid Candace: Friendship, family feuds and financial faux pas

Dear Candid Candace: I have a question regarding social media etiquette. Let’s suppose that a friend of mine had a complete severing of ties with members of his family, to the degree of lawyer involvement. In being loyal to this important friend, I would never comment or “like” anything posted by the people from which he’s estranged. Yet, I have not deleted these contacts. Lately, I’ve seen my friend’s friends still liking and loving the estranged people’s posts. Do I tell my friend? Signed- Social Media Inept

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Dear Social Media Inept: This is definitely a First World problem! Lol. Let’s start off by saying I’m a strong believer in loyalty too. I would do the exactly the same as you and avoid people my friend is this deeply estranged from. That being said, I think that your friend should discover for himself how his other friends are reacting to this situation. You are doing what you think is best. Whether or not your friend finds it offensive that his other friends are still communicating is entirely up to him, not you. He probably already knows who they are anyway.

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Dear Candid Candace: I’m dating myself but did not grow up with payment apps. It would be great if someone would help me with “Venmo” etiquette if there is such a thing. For example, I attended a dinner the other night, one person threw down a credit card and we were each asked by the cardholder to divide the balance equally and “Venmo” him. Okay, but I didn’t have anything to drink, whereas others were three martinis into the night. Another example includes a friend of mine who received a request for payment of $20 toward dinner at a pizza joint. The message from the (known) sender read, “Requesting payment for your half of the date we’re about to go on…” Does Venmo also serve as a dating app of some sort? Is Venmo now officially a verb like “Google”? Signed- Cash App Confused

Dear Cash App Confused: Wow, thanks for sharing this question. I’ve never heard of any situations like this and find it fascinating, if not a little confusing and unsettling. I especially would be incensed to receive a request for payment for a meal I haven’t even eaten yet?! This is ridiculous and even if the sender was George Clooney, I would tell him to get lost. I also admit I’m not well versed in Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, Paypal, Revolut, and so many more! BUT I do know that when you go out with friends, you can’t be arguing over who ate what. Pay your share as requested and either note what the arrangement will be going out the next time or find new friends. As far as being a dating app, on the Venmo site it says, “Venmo is not a dating app. It’s a look-who’s-dating app.” (Whatever this means) And yes, Venmo is a verb!

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(Article updated 6/10/26)