Ask Candid Candace: Setting boundaries at home and at work

Dear Candid Candace: I really like my subdivision and suburban life. While most people seem to know when you are up for "chatting across the yards," so to speak, there’s one lady who just won’t stop talking. The neighborhood is her whole life. There have been times when I, literally, wait to go out to the mailbox until she is not outside because I know it’s at least a half hour of my life that I can’t get back. I’ve tried driving past the mailbox in the car and just doing the wave, as well as setting limits by making up excuses as to why I have to go back inside. Nothing works. Please, please help me.

Signed: Sulking in the Suburbs 

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Dear Sulking in the Suburbs: I know how it feels when you need alone time and feel your frustration that you can't even find it within the confines of your own home. I also acknowledge that many people can certainly be tedious but a phrase you mentioned in your question jumped out at me, "The neighborhood is her whole life." I imagine you have a busy life filled with some stress (like all of us) so this is why you seek solace at home. I totally get it. But, look at this situation from her point of view and imagine the lady as your own mom, obviously lonely and trying to find a little social contact. Perhaps she has no family and can't get around like she used to and this sort of connection is her way of keeping up with the world. I would try to find a happy medium here and not ignore her completely. I'm sure if she was your mother, you would hope people would be kind to her. OR, you could always try getting your mail at midnight! 

Dear Candid Candace: My coworkers and I work very hard at our company and due to the nature of our business, we don’t make as much money as we could elsewhere. We have, however, grown tired and frustrated with the boss’s social media posts highlighting expensive trips, meals and even birthday cakes for her kids that appear as if they cost hundreds of dollars. It’s getting worse and we feel that something needs to be done. Any ideas?

Signed: Underappreciated Employees 

Dear Underappreciated Employees: I'm sure your boss has worked hard to grow her business. And, as hard as it is for you to see her posts, she is entitled to spend her money in any way she sees fit. You could confront her about her posts but then I'm guessing your work relationship would never be the same. OR, you could quit and work elsewhere where, as you say, you could make more money. But, I suggest before you make that leap, you check your potential new boss's social media feed too. 

(Ask Candid Candace is sponsored by Randolph Street Market, send questions ot [email protected])

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