Michael Perich’s ‘Book of Remembrance’ is part memoir, part life lesson, part therapy

For anyone who has ever given too much, loved too hard or wondered why the people they helped didn’t always give the same energy back, Michael Perich has a new book that may hit close to home.

Perich’s first book, “The Book of Remembrance (because it’s cheaper than years of therapy.),” is an intimate collection of lessons, observations and hard-earned wisdom about what happens when generous people spend too much time pouring into others and not enough time protecting themselves.

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Priced at $19.99, the book is aimed squarely at what Perich calls the “givers, the lovers, the generous open souls” and those who have a tendency to put everyone else first.

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The premise is both simple and relatable: Sometimes the biggest transformation comes when we stop blaming the people who take from us and start examining why we continue giving them access.

Perich describes his own journey as a personal metamorphosis. He writes about taking responsibility for his role as a giver and learning to recognize when relationships have become one-sided. His message is not about becoming less generous. Instead, it is about learning that generosity without boundaries can leave even the most loving people depleted.

That idea is captured in one of the book’s central observations: “stop asking the vampire why it keeps draining you” and instead ask why you continue to give it access.

It is a theme that fits Perich’s longtime philosophy of living with intention and authenticity. A longtime beauty entrepreneur, Perich is also the owner of The Gnome Colony, Co. in downtown Glen Ellyn, a whimsical boutique at 485 N. Main St. that he opened in 2018. The shop is filled with jewelry, accessories, clothing, cosmetics, skin care, gifts and curios, and Perich describes it as a place filled with “love, whimsy and wishes.” 

In many ways, The Gnome Colony reflects the same spirit found in Perich’s writing: creating a space where people can step away from the ordinary, reconnect with themselves and perhaps find a little joy along the way. The store also carries Perich’s namesake beauty and skincare products, Perich Skincare & Makeup. 

Now, with “The Book of Remembrance,” the focus turns inward.

Perich writes for people who may have allowed someone else’s “darkness” to dim their own light and encourages them to recognize that they are capable of changing the pattern. He uses the image of a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis as a metaphor for realizing that you are no longer the person you once were.

The result sounds less like a traditional self-help manual and more like a personal conversation with someone who has already made some of the mistakes and is willing to share what he learned along the way.

And perhaps that is the appeal of the book. It isn't promising a magic formula or pretending that relationships, heartbreak and personal growth are easy. Instead, Perich offers readers his own experiences and encourages them to decide what deserves their energy, their love and their access.

For those who have spent years being the strong one, the helper, the fixer or the person everyone calls when they need something, “The Book of Remembrance” offers a reminder that giving is a beautiful quality, but boundaries are not selfish.

Sometimes protecting your light is part of learning how to shine.

(“The Book of Remembrance (because it’s cheaper than years of therapy.)” is available through Perich’s website.)