Disagreement is not dangerous: The lesson Charlie Kirk leaves behind

Why honest debate still matters

A text from my brother this morning brought the Charlie Kirk shooting to mind. He and I often debate politics, usually from opposite sides of the spectrum, but in the end, that’s all they are, debates. We part ways with no hard feelings and often a more profound respect for each other, because our exchanges aren’t personal attacks but opportunities to better understand each other’s beliefs and values.

Here is what his text said: “I was not a true Charlie Kirk fan, but I did agree with him on a few subjects and disagreed on others. I appreciated the way he debated, and I admired how he spoke without hatred. He should not have died. I am sad he was shot, as violence is never the answer to silence people with different views from yours. He was a father and a husband. He was passionate, and he believed in making this a better place.”

My brother’s message captured what many are now reflecting on, that beyond the noise, Kirk was a figure who could be divisive but was never hateful.

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Charlie Kirk was one of those figures society loved to twist and distort. His personality was outsized, and his voice carried far. His organization grew massive, but let’s be honest: No leader can be held accountable for every single thing their followers do. What he never did was call for violence. And that matters.

The “radical” label thrown around by people is part of the bigger problem. Kirk wasn’t a radical lunatic. He was a debater. Sure, some of his ideas were way out there, even downright kooky at times, but that’s free speech. He used his voice and platform not to persuade or influence, but to spark conversation, to push people to think, to challenge, and to step into the messy space where honest debate happens. As educated humans, we all have the right to change the channel or walk away and move on if we don’t like what we hear.

The issue isn’t Kirk. The problem is our culture. College campuses and society in general are teaching young people that if you think differently, you’re considered dangerous. If you question too much, you’re labeled extreme. As Gen Xers, we grew up differently. We spoke our minds, we listened to people who disagreed with us, and then we met in the Taco Bell parking lot to blast music and hang out. Nobody was keeping score.

Today, everything is about choosing sides and weighing every word so nobody’s feelings get hurt. That’s not debate, and it’s not dialogue. That’s fear. And it’s why I like being a journalist and a writer. I can use my voice to express myself respectfully, and if you don’t like it, please feel free to keep scrolling. Respect is earned. Disagreement doesn’t have to lead to violence.

Kirk stood for forming your own opinions based on your own search for knowledge, not parroting your neighbor’s. Too many Americans no longer do that. We’re seen as a gullible society because we’ve stopped thinking for ourselves. We’ve become sheep, afraid to stand out.

Opinions are like mirrors: What you see reflects what you take in. Everyone has an opinion. The quality of yours depends on what you choose to put into your mind. An opinion is only as strong as the knowledge that feeds it.

It’s time to get back to basics:

• Seek knowledge.
  
  

• Form your own opinions.
  
  

• Learn how to engage in dialogue with respect and conviction in a peaceful manner.
  
  

• Respect the right to disagree.
  
  

When we actually sit down and talk to each other, really listen and engage, we give ourselves the chance to learn something from one another. Even if we walk away disagreeing, the exchange itself makes us stronger. Engaging in open dialogue, even when it is difficult or uncomfortable, creates growth opportunities. It sharpens us as individuals and, over time, fosters a society that values listening and understanding, rather than shutting people down.

Each exchange broadens perspectives and challenges assumptions, reinforcing the idea that disagreement is not weakness but strength. This willingness to listen and learn fortifies us as individuals and cultivates a society that prizes understanding over division.