Ten things I would rather be doing than ice fishing

With the full understanding that our long Chicago winters can cause a serious case of “cabin fever,” and people are often looking for unique and different things to do during the long cold winter days—I still never quite understood the allure of ice fishing.

I do get the natural beauty of regular fishing, with peace, quiet, and nature while drinking a cold one. That all sounds, and is, pretty good. But when it comes to ice fishing? Sitting on a frozen pond on a stool, with my fishing line dropped into a small circular hole in the ice? I stand somewhere delicately between ”Why would you possibly want to do this?” and “Are you absolutely out of your mind?”

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In that vein, and with the apparent popularity of ice fishing on the upswing (Is it really?) I, not so kindly, give you my top ten list of things I would rather bedoing this winter than trying ice fishing.

In no particular order: 

1. Having a tooth pulled slowly, hold the Novocain.

2. Cleaning the gutters right after a big rain, after the temperatures suddenly turn cold—freezing all the leaves.

3. Developing a bad rash in a sensitive area of the body right in the middle of a daylong hike on a really hot day.

4. Doing a health check, followed by the corresponding “clean up” duty, at a senior assisted living facility.

5. Getting a massage from a military vet named Bruno, who still suffers from occasional PTSD.

6. Watching highlights of the past Chicago White Sox season.

7. Having my wallet stolen and spending the rest of the day trying to reorder everything from my driver’s license to my beloved AARP card.

8. Waitingin the airport and having a five-hour flight delay…and thenfinding out the flight was cancelled.

9. Watchingvideo “highlights” of my kid’s old third-gradechoir performances.

10. Finally—and this could even be worse than actually trying ice fishing:  watching ice fishing on TV!