The following are quotes that never actually took place. Additionally, the Vegas odds of hearing them in the coming year are somewhere between zero and minus one.
(Note: We reserve the right to add to this list as the New Year wears on.)
“On the other hand, I could be wrong.”
“If Kamala is unable to run, I might consider my son Hunter as running mate.”
“I would like to announce my next tour will be with Johnny Rotten and The Sex Pistols.”
~Taylor Swift
“I am tired of all the publicity. I am going off the grid for a while.”
~Elon Musk
“We have finally decided to sell the team.”
~George McCaskey and the McCaskey family, Chicago Bears owners
“The Golden Bachelor was so successful that we are NOT doing a sequel. We decided to leave well enough alone.”
~Producers of the TV show The Bachelor
“I am going to start dating women my own age.”
~Leonardo DiCaprio
“I am too close to this case, so I will recuse myself.”
~Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas or Samuel Alito. (Take your pick.)
“My son will wait his time at the college he is at and stay all four years even if he is not named the starting quarterback.”
~Any parent, anywhere, of a college-bound high school quarterback
“I decided I am finally too old to be running the Senate.”
~Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell
“That is all….. I have nothing else to say.”
~Senator Bernie Sanders
“We decided to slow down our production of this particular product.”
~Xi Jinping, President of the People's Republic of China
“I am dying my hair black so I can fit in more with the traditional Royal Family.
~Prince Harry
“Do you have any discounted items on the menu?”
~Newly minted almost-billionaire baseball player Shohei Ohtani
“I’ve gone over my allotted time. I am sorry. I will now let my opponent speak without me interrupting.”
~Presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy
“Donald called the other day and asked me for some advice.”
~Ex -Congresswoman Liz Cheney
(0) comments
Welcome to the discussion.
Log In
Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.