Barry Diller opens up about his marriage to Diane von Furstenberg

Media mogul Barry Diller has publicly addressed his attraction to men for the first time while celebrating his 50-year relationship with fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg, as revealed in an excerpt from his forthcoming memoir "Who Knew" published by Intelligencer, where he writes candidly about his complex life journey. "While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn't come into my life until I was 33 years old," Diller wrote, describing their relationship as involving "romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring." 

The 83-year-old businessman recounts their first meaningful encounter at a dinner party hosted by von Furstenberg in 1975, where they experienced what the French call a "coup de foudre" – a lightning strike of attraction. Prior to meeting her, Diller had only been interested in men, beginning with his teenage years "street cruising in West Hollywood, darting in and out of side doors of bars along Melrose Avenue." Intelligencer's excerpt reveals Diller's internal struggle with maintaining privacy without hypocrisy, as he established a personal "bill of rights" that included never pretending to live a heterosexual life while also refusing to make declarations about his sexuality.

Diller's announcement came Tuesday morning via the memoir excerpt, marking a significant moment for the chairman and chief executive who has held powerful positions at Fox, Paramount Pictures, and most recently IAC, according to The New York Times, which noted his reflections on the suffering he experienced by hiding his sexuality. "I had discovered I could separate myself from anything painful or terrifying by just locking it away, putting it into a distant box, and having to deal with it hopefully never," he wrote, acknowledging that this fear of exposure "stunted any chance of my having a fulfilling personal life." 

The New York Times reports that despite early speculation about the nature of their relationship, Diller and von Furstenberg's romance blossomed, though they separated in 1981 before reuniting a decade later and eventually marrying in 2001. When reached in Venice for comment, von Furstenberg told the Times she didn't see Diller's announcement as "coming out" but rather as "simply telling the truth," adding that "Today, he opened to the world. To me, he opened 50 years ago." The Times notes that von Furstenberg emphasized the authenticity of their relationship, saying "the secret to honor life, and to honor love, is never to lie."

Diller and von Furstenberg's unique relationship has faced decades of public speculation, with many assuming they were just close friends rather than romantic partners, reports NBC News, which highlighted how their romance began as a surprise even to Diller himself. After their dinner date at her apartment, Diller wrote they were "making out like teenagers, something I hadn't done with a female since I was 16 years old," adding there was "no effort, no reasoning, no what's-going-on-here...I was simply existing in the moment, a rare place for me." NBC News notes that while the media has previously speculated about Diller being gay or bisexual, he didn't use either term in the memoir excerpt, instead praising how "sexual identities are much more fluid and natural" today compared to "those rigidly defined lanes of the last century."

In the excerpt, Diller addressed the years of public commentary about his relationship with von Furstenberg, writing, "We weren't just friends. We aren't just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years. And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane." NBC News reports that Diller concluded his reflections by stating that their relationship "is the bedrock of my life" and that while speculation about them "sometimes irritates but mostly amuses us," what matters is that "We know, our family knows, and our friends know. The rest is blather."