Ask Candid Candace: Bears vs. Packers and a family divided over final wishes

Dear Candid Candace: Our son is getting married, and we are excited, but have some deep concerns. He is a big Bears fan, while she (the fiancé and her family) avidly root for the Packers. He is a huge Chicago Bulls fan, but she roots for the Bucks. And, as if this weren’t enough, he is also a Cubs fan while she loves the White Sox! Can this marriage survive? Are they doomed from the start? And how long can a marriage endure this kind of conflicting sports allegiances? Signed, He Shoots, But Does he Score?

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Dear He Shoots, But Does he Score, Ah, the age-old dilemma of sports rivalry in a relationship - it's like Romeo and Juliet, but with more face paint and foam fingers. First, let me assure you that there is hope for this mixed-sports-marriage! Love, they say, can conquer all, even a divided household on game day. Marriage is all about give and take. In this case, it might mean watching a few Packers games, attending a Bucks match, or even pretending to like the White Sox for the sake of harmony. Remember, it's the thought that counts, and nothing says "I love you" like begrudgingly wearing a rival team's jersey. Or you can embrace the divided household with some humorous decorations. Consider a half-Green Bay, half-Chicago Bears living room. It's like the Berlin Wall of sports, but with nachos. But, in the grand scheme of things, sports allegiances are just one facet of a relationship. Love, trust, and understanding are what truly make a marriage work. Plus, they can always agree to disagree and make up with a BEAR hug! Here’s to a long, happy marriage filled with touchdowns, home-runs, and grand slams!

Dear Candid Candace: Kind of a morbid question here, but a situation has recently come up with our family. My mom, upon her death, wants to be cremated or donate her body to science, maybe even try one of the environmentally green replenish-the -soil strategies. The problem is this - other members of our family definitely remember our dad strongly saying, when he was on his death bed, that he would like his wife (our mother) buried next to him. He even paid and picked out the plot. How much do we weigh my mom’s current wishes to what our dad so badly wanted? And sorry to put you in the middle of this, but we just needed some advice. Signed, Above Ground or Under?

Dear Above Ground or Under: No one wants to have these kinds of discussions so, the fact that your family is willing to do this now and, more importantly, while your mom is still alive to share her wishes and thoughts about this, is very lucky for you even if there are conflicting feelings. First off, if your mom has documented her end-of-life wishes in a legally binding manner, discussion is over. However, perhaps a compromise could be made to honor both your mom and dad’s wishes. For example, if your mom wants to be cremated or have an environmentally friendly burial, you could explore the possibility of scattering some of her ashes near your dad's grave-site or creating a memorial garden nearby. Navigating conflicting end-of-life wishes within a family can be challenging, but it's essential to approach this situation with empathy and open communication. However, if you can’t seem to come to a decision on your own, consider consulting an attorney who specializes in estate and end-of-life matters. They can provide legal guidance on how to proceed in a way that respects both your mom’s and dad’s wishes while complying with relevant laws. I applaud you for trying to comply with both your parent’s wishes. I’ve seen too many cases where the siblings could care less and it’s so sad.

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